We all do it. We type a lot of fluff words into our sentences that we don't even realize that we're doing. We slap down those words that you, the reader, want to see.
If you don't believe me, go back and read the previous paragraph and remove one word I used three times. In case you didn't guess which word -- that.
Yes, 'that' is a fluff word many authors use vigorously to up the word count and sadly, can lessen the impact. If you re-read the first paragraph without 'that' in the sentences you would notice it read tighter and cleaner.
How bad can it get? I read a newbie's story -- okay, one of my old, OLD stories when I first starting writing -- and I found I had on an average about 3-5 superfluous words per page. 'Why that's not too many,' you think. And THAT is what you think! In a 250 page manuscript, it would equal between 750-1250 extra words.
I know, I know. Words are $$$$$. BUT... It's not money if you don't sell the story. A clean, tight, well thought out and written story sells in the higher priced market. Let's calculate the differences.
a) 8000 words X $.02 = $160.00
Remove 1000 superfluous 'that' words for a higher market sale...
b) 7000 words X $.10 = $700.00
c) 7000 words X $.07 = $490.00
d) 7000 words X $.06 = $420.00
e) 7000 words X $.03 = $210.00
Maybe some of you didn't notice the last couple of calculations. The last one (e) is exactly ONE PENNY above the higher (a) word count sale. Yes, it was 'only' $50 more, but, the bottom line here is, it was probably a better market and a nicer feather in the bonnet or hat. Plus, for me $50 in MY pocket is better than $50 in SOMEBODY else's pocket.
Funny what a penny can mean and do...
So, what other superfluous words can you think of to tighten your writing?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Punctuation 101
Let's face it, punctuation is important! Depending on how you place commas, periods and other grammatical marks into your sentences, it can change meanings quickly.
1) What's that up the road a piece mother?
2) What's that up the road a piece? Mother?
3) What's that up the road a piece, mother?
Example 1 is referring to a chunk of mother being on the road.
Example 2 is asking if mother is indeed just up the road?
Example 3 is the correct format if asking mother what is up the road.
Examples 1 and 2 can, with very little imagination, become quite ribal. We won't go there.
Misplaced commas and periods in dialog are notorious blunders. When indicating dialog with quotation marks -- it is almost always a comma.
Ex: "Give me that," Johnny said.
OR it could be "Give me that!" Johnny said.
BUT NEVER "Give me that." Johnny said.
Exception to the rule. "Give me that." Johnny held out his hand, waiting.
Difference? No "said" or "asked" or "demanded" or "exclaimed" or any of the possible words indicating Johnny spoke.
Sometimes we make the sentence just too complicated for our own good.
Agreeing with what he thought was the only concession he would get, "Alright, you grab those papers," he said, pointing to them on the table as he walked to the door, "and I'll bring the car around."
Make it easier on yourself.
It was the only concession he thought he would get. "Alright, you grab those papers," he said, pointing to them on the table as he walked to the door. "I'll bring the car around."
Can somebody tell me how to place the commas in the following sentence?
"Happy Feet" "Bambi" "Finding Nemo" and "Dumbo" are excellent movies for children.
1) What's that up the road a piece mother?
2) What's that up the road a piece? Mother?
3) What's that up the road a piece, mother?
Example 1 is referring to a chunk of mother being on the road.
Example 2 is asking if mother is indeed just up the road?
Example 3 is the correct format if asking mother what is up the road.
Examples 1 and 2 can, with very little imagination, become quite ribal. We won't go there.
Misplaced commas and periods in dialog are notorious blunders. When indicating dialog with quotation marks -- it is almost always a comma.
Ex: "Give me that," Johnny said.
OR it could be "Give me that!" Johnny said.
BUT NEVER "Give me that." Johnny said.
Exception to the rule. "Give me that." Johnny held out his hand, waiting.
Difference? No "said" or "asked" or "demanded" or "exclaimed" or any of the possible words indicating Johnny spoke.
Sometimes we make the sentence just too complicated for our own good.
Agreeing with what he thought was the only concession he would get, "Alright, you grab those papers," he said, pointing to them on the table as he walked to the door, "and I'll bring the car around."
Make it easier on yourself.
It was the only concession he thought he would get. "Alright, you grab those papers," he said, pointing to them on the table as he walked to the door. "I'll bring the car around."
Can somebody tell me how to place the commas in the following sentence?
"Happy Feet" "Bambi" "Finding Nemo" and "Dumbo" are excellent movies for children.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Time Passing 2
Last week I explained some aspects of how to denote the passage of time in your writing. Today I will show how to denote a point in time and denote its passing with the next line or two. This is all within a 24 hour period.
* ~ * ~ *
Eyeliner, lipstick, powder (shaving, cologne, combing hair) – the ritual of getting ready for work was gnawing at me.
The pink sky with golden highlights placed a glazing on the treetops as the sun came up.
Breakfast was hours passed but there was at least two more hours until lunch.
Hidden from the high noon sun, I ate my sandwich in the shade of an oak tree.
The early afternoon rains had waned and kids were hustling home from school.
Suddenly rush hour was all around me as I sped down I-95 to Richmond.
I watched the evening news while the kids did their homework.
It was time to put the little ones to bed.
I glanced at my watch, Julie should be getting home from her date.
I was watching Johnny Carson/Jay Leno/David Letterman after the nightly news.
It was the haunting hour as the clock struck twelve.
With bleary eyes I stared at the glowing alarm, only four more hours until I had to get up.
* ~ * ~ *
As a side note, time is a variable which the writer must be aware of. Using the following line after an evening meal – "You kids be home before sunset." – has different connotations at different locales and seasons.
In Ohio, during the winter, it means they get to be out for approximate 15-30 minutes. During the summer it indicates a play time of almost 3-4 hours!
In Alaska, you can only say it once, late May, and you won't see your kids until early September.
Can you think of other ways to denote the passage of time in your writing?
Eyeliner, lipstick, powder (shaving, cologne, combing hair) – the ritual of getting ready for work was gnawing at me.
The pink sky with golden highlights placed a glazing on the treetops as the sun came up.
Breakfast was hours passed but there was at least two more hours until lunch.
Hidden from the high noon sun, I ate my sandwich in the shade of an oak tree.
The early afternoon rains had waned and kids were hustling home from school.
Suddenly rush hour was all around me as I sped down I-95 to Richmond.
I watched the evening news while the kids did their homework.
It was time to put the little ones to bed.
I glanced at my watch, Julie should be getting home from her date.
I was watching Johnny Carson/Jay Leno/David Letterman after the nightly news.
It was the haunting hour as the clock struck twelve.
With bleary eyes I stared at the glowing alarm, only four more hours until I had to get up.
As a side note, time is a variable which the writer must be aware of. Using the following line after an evening meal – "You kids be home before sunset." – has different connotations at different locales and seasons.
In Ohio, during the winter, it means they get to be out for approximate 15-30 minutes. During the summer it indicates a play time of almost 3-4 hours!
In Alaska, you can only say it once, late May, and you won't see your kids until early September.
Can you think of other ways to denote the passage of time in your writing?
Monday, February 1, 2010
Denoting the Passage of Time
Different writing formats requires various methods of allowing the reader/viewer to understand time passed.
One of the quickest ways to show time is or has passed is with transitional words such as meanwhile, after, soon, and later – this is only a small list.
Jim and I went fishing, later Jim worked at ...
Betty and Barb went shopping, meanwhile their husbands ...
Billy and Annie went to the movie then afterwards went to ...
Poetry can also use the transitional words as mentioned above.
Another quick way to transport your reader to a new time is to use "* * *" to separate your paragraphs. This can also be used to show scene changes. Of course, a chapter break is always a good indicator of time passage, also.
Screenplays and television scripts are a slightly different breed. Not being a screenwriter I can only rely on what I've been told.
Jill opens oven and slides a cake into it.
LATER
Angle in on the oven door and show smoke rolling out of it.
Another good way to demonstrate the passage of time is to use nature itself – the sun, for instance. There is sunrise, morning, daybreak, sunset, eventide, dusk and night, to name a few. For longer stretches of time, you could use moon phases, seasons, or months and weeks, even weather.
Gone was the snow, now small green sprouts ...
Last week had been terrible but I knew ...
Day was done, the rain had ended, the flowers had closed ...
Sometimes you can use a date/time stamp. We have all seen or heard Captain Kirk of "Star Trek" fame enter 'star date entries' into his Captain's Log. The same method can be used for your writing.
June 1, Tuesday. Detective Jones entered ...
2010.02.01:1225hrs. B'Nalcorth waited ...
Saturday. Judith knew ...
Even a speech can denote time–
Four score and seven years ago...
What are some of your ways to denote the passage of time?
One of the quickest ways to show time is or has passed is with transitional words such as meanwhile, after, soon, and later – this is only a small list.
Jim and I went fishing, later Jim worked at ...
Betty and Barb went shopping, meanwhile their husbands ...
Billy and Annie went to the movie then afterwards went to ...
Poetry can also use the transitional words as mentioned above.
Another quick way to transport your reader to a new time is to use "* * *" to separate your paragraphs. This can also be used to show scene changes. Of course, a chapter break is always a good indicator of time passage, also.
Screenplays and television scripts are a slightly different breed. Not being a screenwriter I can only rely on what I've been told.
Jill opens oven and slides a cake into it.
LATER
Angle in on the oven door and show smoke rolling out of it.
Another good way to demonstrate the passage of time is to use nature itself – the sun, for instance. There is sunrise, morning, daybreak, sunset, eventide, dusk and night, to name a few. For longer stretches of time, you could use moon phases, seasons, or months and weeks, even weather.
Gone was the snow, now small green sprouts ...
Last week had been terrible but I knew ...
Day was done, the rain had ended, the flowers had closed ...
Sometimes you can use a date/time stamp. We have all seen or heard Captain Kirk of "Star Trek" fame enter 'star date entries' into his Captain's Log. The same method can be used for your writing.
June 1, Tuesday. Detective Jones entered ...
2010.02.01:1225hrs. B'Nalcorth waited ...
Saturday. Judith knew ...
Even a speech can denote time–
Four score and seven years ago...
What are some of your ways to denote the passage of time?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Word Processors
Last week a reader mentioned word processors. I consider them a blessing and a nuisance, moreso the blessing. Okay, I have a love/hate relationship with my word processor.
Why? Simple.
A word processor allows me to type in cyberspace rather than on a sheet of paper. Remember -- for those old enough -- back to the days of a typewriter and the silly typing eraser with the mini whiskbroom? You made a typo and then you needed to fix it. The damage caused by the stupid ink eraser scratching away the paper... and then the broom to brush away the itty-bitty wads of paper... yuck!
IF the paper was still in the typewriter, it was somewhat easier. IF you'd removed it THEN found the mistake, well, it was more difficult. It was especially true if you had to squeeze two letters into the space of one. But, thanks to my typing instructor back in high school, I was able to do that. Learning the skill made my job much easier when I was in the Navy. {Short digress follows}
I was lucky enough to be part of a crew for a new ship -- yes, I commissioned a ship. Anyway, as the Engineering Yeoman, my duty during our cruise from Boston, MA to Long Beach, CA was to type up all the pages of the 6-10 manuals, duplicate and compilate. I had a case of those blue mimeograph sheets, bottles of blue fix-it for typos, one IBM Selectric typewriter and hours of fun. The manuals were completed on time.
Thinking back of how much easier it would have been to create all of them in cyberspace. [sigh]
Anyway, I have used manual typewriters, electric typewriters, Atari computers, Epson CP/M computers, IBM computers and a large selection of generic PCs over the years to create my stories and novels. Each year and each computer was just a wee bit smarter than the last and the word processors improved also.
Then came SpellCheck. I was in heaven. I was a Spelling Bee competitor and did very well so it was never really an issue for me. But, wow, a spell checker. How cool!
I love a word processor on the computer. Speed... Ease... Yes, it is LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
Remember last week's entry? Their isn't an our goes buy eye don't think the spell chequer can't help me with my spelling.
The above sentence is correct according to almost every spell checker. All the words are spelled correctly.
Hence, my hate position with a word processor. And that isn't the only reason. Ever try to get it to spell the word correctly?
I mean, if you don't know how to spell it? Just like the dictionary -- the touchy-feely book version -- you can open it up and look up and down the pages. If you don't know how to spell the word, at least you have some idea of how it starts to get you on the correct page. Flipping pages of a book dictionary and you can find the correct spelling. With a word processor, you might as well beat your head on the desk until the correct spelling comes to mind. psychosis. Start spelling it incorrectly and you will be lost forever in the spell check work processing game.
So, what am I saying here today? Word processors are a great thing. They are marvelous, wonderful, and like everything else in this world -- they carry a danger load. Be very careful of misspelled words as decided by your word processor. Especially if the spell checker lets you add words. If you don't have the strange, new word spelled correctly, well, it isn't going to help. My character -- D'Lernia-Ha -- kept showing as incorrect, and well it should have. I decided to add it and other characters to 'my' dictionary. Unfortunately I didn't look closely at the selection when I added it and the name still kept appearing as incorrect. In anger, I highlighted and entered it again. Suddenly, all of the misspells disappeared. What I didn't see -- until I sent it out to an editor -- was all the secondary spellings I had. Seems the first entry was D'Lenria-Ha, not good. Her twin brother's name was D'Lonria-Ha ... so for the editor it was 'did he misspell D'Lonria or D'Lernia' ... a good question, indeed.
Yes, I definitely have a love/hate relationship with my word processor.
Do you like your word processor? Which one do you use? I use WordPerfect 99% of the time.
Why? Simple.
A word processor allows me to type in cyberspace rather than on a sheet of paper. Remember -- for those old enough -- back to the days of a typewriter and the silly typing eraser with the mini whiskbroom? You made a typo and then you needed to fix it. The damage caused by the stupid ink eraser scratching away the paper... and then the broom to brush away the itty-bitty wads of paper... yuck!
IF the paper was still in the typewriter, it was somewhat easier. IF you'd removed it THEN found the mistake, well, it was more difficult. It was especially true if you had to squeeze two letters into the space of one. But, thanks to my typing instructor back in high school, I was able to do that. Learning the skill made my job much easier when I was in the Navy. {Short digress follows}
I was lucky enough to be part of a crew for a new ship -- yes, I commissioned a ship. Anyway, as the Engineering Yeoman, my duty during our cruise from Boston, MA to Long Beach, CA was to type up all the pages of the 6-10 manuals, duplicate and compilate. I had a case of those blue mimeograph sheets, bottles of blue fix-it for typos, one IBM Selectric typewriter and hours of fun. The manuals were completed on time.
Thinking back of how much easier it would have been to create all of them in cyberspace. [sigh]
Anyway, I have used manual typewriters, electric typewriters, Atari computers, Epson CP/M computers, IBM computers and a large selection of generic PCs over the years to create my stories and novels. Each year and each computer was just a wee bit smarter than the last and the word processors improved also.
Then came SpellCheck. I was in heaven. I was a Spelling Bee competitor and did very well so it was never really an issue for me. But, wow, a spell checker. How cool!
I love a word processor on the computer. Speed... Ease... Yes, it is LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
Remember last week's entry? Their isn't an our goes buy eye don't think the spell chequer can't help me with my spelling.
The above sentence is correct according to almost every spell checker. All the words are spelled correctly.
Hence, my hate position with a word processor. And that isn't the only reason. Ever try to get it to spell the word correctly?
I mean, if you don't know how to spell it? Just like the dictionary -- the touchy-feely book version -- you can open it up and look up and down the pages. If you don't know how to spell the word, at least you have some idea of how it starts to get you on the correct page. Flipping pages of a book dictionary and you can find the correct spelling. With a word processor, you might as well beat your head on the desk until the correct spelling comes to mind. psychosis. Start spelling it incorrectly and you will be lost forever in the spell check work processing game.
So, what am I saying here today? Word processors are a great thing. They are marvelous, wonderful, and like everything else in this world -- they carry a danger load. Be very careful of misspelled words as decided by your word processor. Especially if the spell checker lets you add words. If you don't have the strange, new word spelled correctly, well, it isn't going to help. My character -- D'Lernia-Ha -- kept showing as incorrect, and well it should have. I decided to add it and other characters to 'my' dictionary. Unfortunately I didn't look closely at the selection when I added it and the name still kept appearing as incorrect. In anger, I highlighted and entered it again. Suddenly, all of the misspells disappeared. What I didn't see -- until I sent it out to an editor -- was all the secondary spellings I had. Seems the first entry was D'Lenria-Ha, not good. Her twin brother's name was D'Lonria-Ha ... so for the editor it was 'did he misspell D'Lonria or D'Lernia' ... a good question, indeed.
Yes, I definitely have a love/hate relationship with my word processor.
Do you like your word processor? Which one do you use? I use WordPerfect 99% of the time.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Ewe No ...
What if wii awl used the wrong word too right what wii wanted two say?
The English language is a complicated one. We speak the words and everyone knows -- for the most part -- what we're saying.
But, when we start to put those same words to paper, a mystical thing happens.
Whee sensor ourselves. Witch word due wii put too paper? Sew, threw trial and airer sometimes we make the write choice, sometimes knot.
I want to make a list of homophones -- u no witch wons eye am talking about.
Don't let the big word fool you -- it means: sounds the same, different spelling and meaning. A homonym, on the other hand, is spelled the same with different meanings, sometimes sounding alike, sometimes not. Ex: Sewer: drain Sewer: tailor OR Row: in a boat Row: to plant in.
I offer the following homophones; please add to the list. You might even know another sounding word to add to my list. I bet we can find over a 100 different same sounding words... I've already got the list over 20% of the way there.
one, won
two, to, two
for, four
which, witch
sensor, censor
ford, fjord
serial, cereal
threw, through
read, red
read, reed
new, knew
no, know
dew, due, do
sew, so
your, yore
or, oar
lie, lye
by, bye
some, sum
flour, flower
toed, toad, towed
passed, past
This is a great exercise for every writer. I know I've used the wrong word at times and I have even seen the wrong word in published books which made me stop and think or laugh, depending on the context.
The English language is a complicated one. We speak the words and everyone knows -- for the most part -- what we're saying.
But, when we start to put those same words to paper, a mystical thing happens.
Whee sensor ourselves. Witch word due wii put too paper? Sew, threw trial and airer sometimes we make the write choice, sometimes knot.
I want to make a list of homophones -- u no witch wons eye am talking about.
Don't let the big word fool you -- it means: sounds the same, different spelling and meaning. A homonym, on the other hand, is spelled the same with different meanings, sometimes sounding alike, sometimes not. Ex: Sewer: drain Sewer: tailor OR Row: in a boat Row: to plant in.
I offer the following homophones; please add to the list. You might even know another sounding word to add to my list. I bet we can find over a 100 different same sounding words... I've already got the list over 20% of the way there.
one, won
two, to, two
for, four
which, witch
sensor, censor
ford, fjord
serial, cereal
threw, through
read, red
read, reed
new, knew
no, know
dew, due, do
sew, so
your, yore
or, oar
lie, lye
by, bye
some, sum
flour, flower
toed, toad, towed
passed, past
This is a great exercise for every writer. I know I've used the wrong word at times and I have even seen the wrong word in published books which made me stop and think or laugh, depending on the context.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Another Box
Today I want to take the Corner Philosophy and run in another direction with it.
Description. Let's look at the four corners.
When you write, exactly how do you describe your scene? Terse? Flowery? Barren? Detailed?
Let me show you some examples...
Terse: Beth stomped down the street revealing to everyone she was mad.
Flowery: Beth, with the wind blowing her long russet tresses in all directions, stomped the stilettoes with a sharp clicking sound on the concrete walk, revealing to every stranger passing by she more than angry, she was venemous.
Barren: Beth moved down the street; she was mad.
Detailed: Beth, a young wisp of a lady, barely twenty-one, brushed back the long, windswept, russet tresses of hair with a quick snap of her hand, never once losing a clicking stride in her glossy, black stilettoes on the gray cement walk, screaming to every passing stranger her ranting feverous, venom laced outbursts of anger.
Whew!
Which corner do you see yourself lurking in? How would you describe your 'descriptive' writing method?
Please share your thoughts.
Description. Let's look at the four corners.
When you write, exactly how do you describe your scene? Terse? Flowery? Barren? Detailed?
Let me show you some examples...
Terse: Beth stomped down the street revealing to everyone she was mad.
Flowery: Beth, with the wind blowing her long russet tresses in all directions, stomped the stilettoes with a sharp clicking sound on the concrete walk, revealing to every stranger passing by she more than angry, she was venemous.
Barren: Beth moved down the street; she was mad.
Detailed: Beth, a young wisp of a lady, barely twenty-one, brushed back the long, windswept, russet tresses of hair with a quick snap of her hand, never once losing a clicking stride in her glossy, black stilettoes on the gray cement walk, screaming to every passing stranger her ranting feverous, venom laced outbursts of anger.
Whew!
Which corner do you see yourself lurking in? How would you describe your 'descriptive' writing method?
Please share your thoughts.
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